I’ve received many emails from moms asking me how I cope with the living death of Annie’s substance use disorder.. She’s neither dead nor alive. Many of my friends here know the hellish limbo I’m living in, without any resolution or closure. But I have found a way to cope well and move on with my life. This is what I wrote back:
“I put my grief in a back drawer and close it. Then I look at what’s in my front drawers every morning. I have so many wonderful things to be grateful for. Instead of focusing on the problem, I try to keep my mind on the solution. This is how I live. It keeps me humble, grateful, and glad to be alive. I honor my daughter’s memory in this way, and I truly believe she would want me to live well and be happy. Blessings to you, Mom.”
wonderful…make gratitude strong by focusing on the positive…
Sadness and days full of self-pity are a terrible way to lives our lives. Living in gratitude is the perefewct antidote to that negativity. Many people feel that putting our grief aside in this way is insensitive and a sign that we don’t really care. But it is precisely this form of self-care that, I believe, honors the those we have lost. In spite of what illness has done to my daughter’s mind, I remember how she loved me before drugs poisoned her mind, and I believe deep down that she loves me still. She would want me to survive her illness. in my case using gratitude, and get on with my life, living well.