‘Tis the season…yes, it’s the time of giving and thinking of others.
I think of Angie often and even more so during the holiday season when she is so missed in our family. But I have learned over the years that the best gift I can give my daughter is the gift of detachment with love. One of the hardest ways we can love our children struggling with addiction is to let go and encourage them to choose recovery. This is something we cannot do for them.
We can pay their rent, buy them a car—in short, we can make their lives comfortable. But is it always wise to support them financially? I know that every case is different, especially when grandchildren are part of the picture—and my heart goes out to you grandmothers—but in my case, my generosity just gave Angie more money for drugs.
So I’ve learned the hard way to let Angie face the consequences of her choices and take responsibility for herself. It’s the hardest thing…to remove the safety net we want to put under our children. It’s the hardest thing… to watch them flounder in the grips of this cruel disease.
So all I want for Christmas is the serenity to remember that I don’t have the power to save Angie. All I can do is love her. She was raised in a loving family for twenty-one years before she turned to drugs. Wherever she is and whatever she’s doing, I know she knows this.