“Second Step Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thoughts and
addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit and restore in me a clear mind.”
How often have we tried to play God, to control everything and everyone around us, especially if they’re on a self-destructive path? This, to be sure, is what provides us with a sound rationale for doing so.
“He’s killing himself! We have to do something; we have to stop (SAVE) him!”
I said those words, and played out that scenario, for a number of years. But it got me nowhere. My daughter has been in and out of recovery for fifteen years. And when she was IN recovery, I was sure it was because of MY efforts to save her from herself. Then, when she slipped OUT of recovery, I found a way to make myself responsible for that too.
I was so joined at the hip with Angie, enmeshed in HER illness, that I wasn’t paying enough attention to mine. I found myself exhausted and broken from all my efforts to save her. So I cut the cord and recognized that the path she was on was hers alone. I needed forge my own path, continuing on my recovery journey.
Nothing has ever been harder for me than this separation, watching her flounder in the grips of heroin addiction.
Nothing.