Memoir Excerpt:
“Ever since I was a very young child I’d been fragile, like thin ice on a lake—don’t walk on it; you might fall through and drown. My sense of being OK was always shaky when I was younger. Many of us who grow up with low self-worth become chameleons. Chameleons change their color out of fear to protect themselves from predators. We don’t have clear personal boundaries, often not recognizing where we end and others begin. We don’t really know who we are, so we attach ourselves to whomever we’re around, often seeking their approval by pretending to be like them. But like the chameleon who turns green in the jungle, we are afraid to distinguish ourselves. I remember telling Angie back in 2010, ‘I know who I am now.’ Well, that’s an ongoing process.
Now I accept who I am, warts and all. I know that absolute perfection doesn’t exist anyway. My years of growth in the Twelve-Step Programs have brought me out of isolation while I’ve celebrated my humanity. As I dare to take new risks I continue to learn new things about myself. I respect my imperfections because they keep me humble and swimming in the stream of life with other fellow travelers also struggling like me. I am never alone.”