marilea.rabasa@gmail.com

Because We’re Worth It!

From Each Day A New Beginning,May 27:

“’As the wheel of the decades turns, so do a person’s needs, desires, and tasks. Each of us does, in effect, strike a series of “deals” or compromises between the wants and longings of the inner self, and an outer environment that offers certain possibilities and sets certain limitations.’” ~Maggie Scarf

People change. We all do. Life continues to happen. And, as they say, we learn to roll with the punches. I began my recovery journey seventeen years ago. And my reason for starting it has morphed into something else. I joined 12-Step recovery to save my daughter Angie from drug addiction. In time I learned that I couldn’t save her from herself. But I could save myself from being destroyed by the family disease of addiction. And that’s why I’ve stayed—so that I can learn to live well. And what a journey it’s been!

I wasn’t living well

  1. Obsessing about Angie and how to save her, ignoring my other children.
  2. Nearly bankrupting myself paying off her debts, sending her to many rehabs when one or two might have been enough to give her the tools she needed to choose recovery.
  3. When I didn’t call the police every time she stole from me, including my identity multiple times. It taught her nothing and saddled me with even more guilt for being an irresponsible parent.
  4. When I was so wrung out from it all that I collapsed into clinical depression and had to retire from my job.

No, before I chose recovery I was not living well. But after seventeen years of learning to let go of things I can’t control, I have learned to embrace my life with a refreshing energy that gladdens my heart as I wake up every day. Life may not have turned out to be everything I had hoped for, but it’s still pretty darn terrific if I keep my focus on taking care of myself and gratitude for all my blessings. Life is good. I’m glad I’m figuring out how to live it well!

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