From Each Day A New Beginning,May 27:
“’As the wheel of the decades turns, so do a person’s needs, desires, and tasks. Each of us does, in effect, strike a series of “deals” or compromises between the wants and longings of the inner self, and an outer environment that offers certain possibilities and sets certain limitations.’” ~Maggie Scarf
People change. We all do. Life continues to happen. And, as they say, we learn to roll with the punches. I began my recovery journey seventeen years ago. And my reason for starting it has morphed into something else. I joined 12-Step recovery to save my daughter Angie from drug addiction. In time I learned that I couldn’t save her from herself. But I could save myself from being destroyed by the family disease of addiction. And that’s why I’ve stayed—so that I can learn to live well. And what a journey it’s been!
I wasn’t living well
- Obsessing about Angie and how to save her, ignoring my other children.
- Nearly bankrupting myself paying off her debts, sending her to many rehabs when one or two might have been enough to give her the tools she needed to choose recovery.
- When I didn’t call the police every time she stole from me, including my identity multiple times. It taught her nothing and saddled me with even more guilt for being an irresponsible parent.
- When I was so wrung out from it all that I collapsed into clinical depression and had to retire from my job.
No, before I chose recovery I was not living well. But after seventeen years of learning to let go of things I can’t control, I have learned to embrace my life with a refreshing energy that gladdens my heart as I wake up every day. Life may not have turned out to be everything I had hoped for, but it’s still pretty darn terrific if I keep my focus on taking care of myself and gratitude for all my blessings. Life is good. I’m glad I’m figuring out how to live it well!