Taking Care Of Ourselves

From Courage to Change, July 12:

“If you would be loved, love, and be lovable.” ~Benjamin Franklin


For much of my life, I didn’t take good care of myself. I was often focused on how other people felt about me, and, chameleon-like, I adapted my behavior to please them. After years of this, I lost touch with who I was or what I really wanted.

I’ve gotten much better at doing what’s best for me, but I still have slips now and then. I went off the rails spectacularly last summer, putting other people’s desires ahead of my own. But I’m grateful to have a recovery program that got me back on track.

“Progress, not perfection.”

In the first years of my daughter’s drug addiction, I lost my compass a great deal. I often put Angie first—at great cost to myself. In my case, it backfired.

I’m less concerned with being lovable than with loving these days. And loving sometimes involves hard choices. Ironically, putting myself first is the healthiest ground for love to flourish. And if I’m lovable as a result, that’s icing on the cake.






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