From Hope for Today, February 13:
“…Now, after consistent attendance at meetings and working the Steps, I can honestly say I trust God to take care of me. I don’t pray anymore for my father’s sobriety. Instead, my prayers might say this: ‘God, I haven’t a clue as to what’s going on with him, but I know You do…’ I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers. He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do.”
Letting go of my stubborn will to be in charge of everything: that was one of my biggest challenges. It’s all in Step One: admitting my powerlessness over the disease of addiction.
I understand why many of us can’t take that step. I couldn’t either for a number of years. I was completely focused on helping my daughter Angie. My love for her, and my desperate need to save her, had turned into obsession.
Eventually it broke me. This cruel disease had taken two victims, and I was faced with a choice: continue down that rabbit hole with her; or get off that fast-moving train and save myself.
I chose the latter. I learned how to let go. I’m grateful that I found a way to make my life work and be content. The tools of the Program provide so much wisdom on how to build and rebuild the relationships in our lives. For I have learned over time that this disease has affected each and every one of mine.
“I don’t pray anymore for my father’s (Angie’s) sobriety.” Instead, I focus on what I have power over—my attitude—and I do pray for God’s help in keeping it positive. And gratitude—always gratitude—for my blessings.