marilea.rabasa@gmail.com

Good Enough

“Easy Does It” When I entered the rooms sixteen years ago, I was desperately unhappy and wanted to learn and do everything perfectly. But I needed to slow down and stop trying to force solutions. I especially needed to get to know myself better, because until I did that I would continue making the same mistakes in my relationships. So I’ve learned to be patient with myself and to let go of expectations. I can only control what I choose to do. Not my addict. If I’m happier these days it’s largely because I’m taking it easy on myself. I know that I’m doing the best I can, and that’s good...

“Let Go And Let God”

Not of everything! I still have to do the wash and take a shower. I still have to move through my life with a minimum of conflict and get things done. The bumps occur when I try to control what I have no power over. And that’s a whole encyclopedia of opinions that there’s no room for here. Regarding the addiction of my daughter, Angie, I did spend years trying, but ultimately I gave up the fight to save her from the disease that was destroying her life. I gave up because the effort was slowly killing me as well and all the other relationships in my life. How many lives had to be sacrificed before the altar of addiction? So I made a choice: I chose life. God Bless all of us who face the same choice and must let go of that which we cannot change. I hope we will find the God-given wisdom to see the difference between white-knuckling it through life—and leaning into it. Surrender. Acceptance. Peace....

Staying Humble

“Know-It-Alls,” Beware: We Don’t! 🙂 Or, more gently put by Roman philosopher, Seneca: “As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” As long as I stay right-sized and humble, my relationships will flow more smoothly. Aware of my place next to God’s in the scheme of things, I will remain teachable. And I will keep...

Mirrors

From Each Day A New Beginning, February 11:  “’It’s odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don’t quite fully share the hell of someone close to you.’ ~Lady Bird Johnson Preoccupation with self can be the bane of our existence. It prevents all but the narrowest perspective on any problem. It cuts off any guidance…that may be offered through a friend…When we open our minds to fresh input from others, insights emerge. We need the messages others are trying to give us.”   An end to my isolation. Opening my mind and heart to what others offer me. For many years, I closed myself off from these offerings. I was busy with my life, self-sufficient…but unhappy. I was pretty bewildered about that—yet resigned to it. Then—for the worst possible reason—I joined a recovery program that provided tools to help me climb out of my self-imposed misery. There are many new attitudes that I have adopted over time. But the most critical, I think, has been taking the risk to open myself to others and learn about myself using others’ perspectives to add balance to my own. I’m not afraid of mirrors anymore. I’ve had to let go of years of denial and preconceived notions about myself. I’ve had to learn how to be honest. And in doing that, I have discovered my own humanity. I am not unique but part of a fellowship of equals who share a common bond. No longer alone or lonely, I’m learning how to accept life on life’s terms…and be...